TGIF...

Hi Friends,

I'm looking forward to the weekend and having Bill home...so sad that he has to work over the summer:-0 The kids keep asking, "Where's Dad?" We'll try to take it easy on him this weekend as it's Father's Day. Maybe a Sunday out on the land?

My recent B-12 shot and new pain meds are working well. I have some energy. Considering that I had none before, I'll take it. Yesterday I cleaned my bedroom and bathroom and today I'm considering doing some work in the living room and front entrance.

One of the hardest things about this illness is that I feel like a vampire. I live in beautiful, sunny California and I'm not allowed in the sun AT ALL:-( I don't take that well. To replay my most recent conversation with my favorite doctor regarding this:

Dr. Cohen: "You're doing so well. Are you staying out of the sun? And I mean no sunlight at all..."

Me: (sounding sort of like President Clinton and what's the definition of "is") "Well, yeah...but what do you mean "NO" sun. What if it's just for a few minutes while I'm wearing SPF 100 (yes, they make it!) and lots of clothes and a really big sun hat? What if I'm outside and it's sunny, but I'm in the shade...?"

Dr. Cohen: "Well, that would be enough to put you back into a flare...Do you want to be doing IV steroids and chemo earlier than October? I don't want you back in the hospital for a month."

You get the idea and so do I. It's just that I really love nature and the outside. Ultimately, like a child -- I want what I want when I want it. WAH!!! I have to put on my "big girl pants" and focus on what I can do, not what I can't... I think I'll start going out after sunset...lighting is great in our little "planned community." And, I told Bill we need REALLY big windows when we build our house on the land. It will make me happy to see him and the kids on the land even if I'm the cheerleader who's inside watching... and coming outside to watch the sunset. Shh...don't tell Dr. Cohen! That was one good thing about my most recent doctor's visit...Bill wasn't there to tattle on me to Dr. Cohen. Now don't get me wrong, I know they both are working in tandem to keep me alive and I can be my own worst enemy...but sometimes I feel like a pet rock!

Ok, enough of that...today 3 out of my 4 children are up before noon. I will go and wake up Molly when I finish this. (Better yet, I just asked Cam to go do it.) They are doing really well with balancing fun and their increasing responsibilites this summer. Cam and Nate are completely responsible for the downstairs, including dishes. And Molly and Isaac do the upstairs, including laundry. They split pet chores and are all responsible for their own rooms, hygeine, and doing pills (for those special kids who need them!)Yesterday we made it to the bottom of Mt. Dishmore. We have really sucky dishwasher and really hard water in this rental house. The dishes look worse when they come out of the dishwasher than when they were put in, so it's pretty much pointless. Now that we're caught up, we're using paper plates. (Nate was concerned that we're ruining the environment and I told him I love the way he thinks...so feel free to recycle the paper plates rather than throwing them in the trash!) And we just wash everything else by hand, which can be a challenge as Bill is a great cook but seems to use LOTS of pots, pans, etc.

Molly has taken to putting Isaac to bed at night -- even reading him stories until he falls asleep. Cam and Nate usually hang out together at night, too and lately Nate has been crashing in a sleeping bag on Cam's floor. So, we have some good teamwork going. And most nights Bill and I are asleep before the kids. We're old and sick, they're young and full of energy:-)

Our lease is up here at the end of August and we're looking to downsize -- possibly an apartment while we build on the land. We may put up outbuildings on the land first to store some of our junk. But at this point, an apartment with even less to keep up will be good. I will be doing chemo again in October and Cam and Molly will be back in high school -- so that will put more workload on the two remaining homeschoolers (Nate and Isaac). Hopefully, we're training them well and they'll step up to the challenge. But this house is large 4 Bedrooms, 2 3/4 Baths, and worse -- it's 2 stories. Bill and I took the downstairs bedroom and gave Nate and Isaac the upstairs master. The stairs can be hard for me, and I have gone months without making it upstairs. So something more manageable would be nice for a bit. And without an HOA. Bill and I don't fit in well with all the regulations.

Ok...I'm off to do my Bible reading and then to take a shower and get dressed. Then I'll work on those few areas in the house...kids and Bill are good at picking up, cleaning, etc, but I need to do some organizing...yesterday I did well with 15 minutes of doing something, 45 minutes of rest, and that's 15 more minutes per hour of energy than I used to have. Never ever thought I'd be thankful to clean up my own house...but now I am.

More tomorrow...
Much Love,
Michele