Lupus is the gift that just keeps on giving....

Dear Friends,

I'm not kidding, I almost feel sorry for all of you who haven't faced death. Because you come away (that is if you don't kick the bucket) with a renewed sense of purpose. Pre-sickness, I used to be so busy, always doing something, and I think I lost sight of what was truly important. Now,my lupus has obviously slowed me way down. I take one day at a time on a good day. On a not so good day, it may be more like one hour, one minute, one second, or one step at a time. This is an important truth. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow (at least not here on earth), so I choose to learn from the past, dream of the future, but live in the NOW. Because the NOW is what we have and where we're at.

So, what am I doing now, you may ask? I am laying in bed after finishing a family dinner lovingly made by Bill. I am thinking about our first day of summer vacation. And while I wish I could say I got dressed today, I did at least change into clean PJs this afternoon. My brain felt foggy, I felt tired and had a severe headache today. But I am a work in progress and like Paul, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."

I also read Phil 4 today and focused on verses 6,7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." I spend so much time in prayer, and I don't think "Well, prayer is ALL I can do." Instead, when I am laying in bed too sick to sleep, I pray. I pray because I trust that God can bring good out of the bad. And I believe the prayer is ALL and EVERYTHING I am meant to do right now.

When I was busy and in my pre-lupus life, I thought I needed to "do" so many things. Well today I came across this gem in my Bible. In John 6:29: "The work God wants you to do is this: Believe in the One he sent." Pretty simple isn't it? What does God want me to do? Believe in Jesus. I CAN DO THAT! And so can you if you choose to. Life is hard, but our God is so good...

Sorry, I'm feeling philosophical today -- but based on God's Word and my recent life lessons, here's my advice:

1. Live in the NOW. (Learn-don't have regrets-from the past, Dream-rather than
overplan - for the future.)
2. Be content no matter what the circumstance. (It's all about how you spin it.)
3. Do not be anxious, but take everything to God in prayer. Then do what he says.
4. Follow God's instruction, and believe in Jesus.
5. Fully commit your heart and life to God.

And remember as Mother Theresa said, "We are all pencils in the hand of God." He is writing our story...we are the instruments he uses. So try to keep in mind that God has the plan and we have a place in the plan. Spend less time trying to figure out the plan or telling God your better plan, and you may find it all goes better when you learn to trust him to have the plan.

And again, I say thank you God for lupus...it's refining my character and drawing me closer to you.

More tomorrow.
Much Love,
Michele