Hi Friends,
I couldn't blog yesterday because yesterday was crazy. The high of getting some good news from Dr. Cohen Monday morning was overshadowed by the sounds of children coughing and crying and having fevers late Monday - early Tuesday morning. So, I got up Tuesday morning and instead of driving to T.O. to get my chemo meds -- I drove Cam and Isaac to Urgent Care. Nate stayed home. Bill went to work. Molly went to school.
Well, I got to Urgent Care and was immediately surrounded by a full waiting room of puking, coughing, sneezing, contagious people. I immediately asked for a face mask to maybe protect myself a bit, and then I was stared at as if I was the contagious person.
I filled out all the paperwork, and waited -- and we finally got in and saw a very nice doctor. I don't know if it helped -- but they put me in the coldest room that they NEVER use and they sprayed the room with disinfectant before I came in. It's enough that I've already been exposed to my kids -- didn't really need more.
Cam and Isaac have strep throat. And while we were meeting with the doctor, I received the cell phone call that Molly was sick and needed to be picked up from school. The doctor said she didn't want me to have to come back and she was nice enough to write Molly a prescription without seeing her. It was pretty much a no-brainer that she had strep...
So, we left Urgent Care around noon, picked up Molly at school -- and I took all the sicklies home, fed them lunch, medicated their symptoms, and left for Thousand Oaks. I drove to my favorite pharmacy and picked up my chemo meds with no problem from Rajiv. He also filled the prescriptions for my kids, and told me to call Dr. Cohen about the strep. At the same time, the doctor from Urgent Care called my cell to say she looked again at the strep test and it was really bad -- so "you need to call your doctor, because I've been thinking about you and I'm worried..." Thanks Rajiv and new doctor -- I'm concerned, too...
So, I drove back to Oxnard and medicated everyone with their antibiotics and Cam is taking cough medicine with codeine. He's hugging me a lot -- SO, I for one, like the codeine:-) I called Dr. Cohen and he agreed we needed to medicate me preventatively... because by that time I had a slight sore throat and my chest hurt, and for me -- everything always turns into pneumonia. By that time, Bill was on his way home from work and off I went to CVS to pick up my antibiotics. I started those last night and my throat already feels better. The kids are looking somewhat better, and I'm hoping Cam and Molly can go back to school tomorrow + tomorrow night is Open House.
For today we've all been sleeping, resting, and trying to get better. I'm hoping Nate and Bill will escape the illness...that the other kids get better...and that this doesn't interfere with my shot in the butt this weekend...Thank goodness for the B-12 shot I got on Monday as it's helping with energy:-)
Much Love,
Michele
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Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Visit to My DD (Dear Doctor)
Hi Friends,
I saw Doctor Cohen today and he was a real pick-me-up:-) He agrees that the methotrexate is working, and I can take it for a very long time. And I don't have to do the chemo infusion of Rituxan that I was scheduled for this month. So happy day for me AND since the methotrexate in pill form is making me so pukey...I get to switch to a shot form. Thank God I have a sweet husband who has no problem shooting me up (with legal drugs of course), so I am golden. Never thought I'd be so happy to get a shot in my butt -- a real pain in the ass, for most people -- but not for me. And because it's a shot, it's supposed to bypass your stomach, which should be helpful. I also got more percocet and permission to stay on it forever if necessary. However, since it takes 6 months for the methotrexate to achieve its complete effects -- I'm hopefully going to continue to get better and be able to go down or maybe even completely get off it at some point.
So, the only glitch today was getting the RX filled for all the shots. I spent an hour at CVS, and ended up calling Dr. Cohen on his cell phone and having him talk to the pharmacist. Still too much confusion, because it's a larger dose than they're used to giving. So, tomorrow, I am going to see Rajiv in Thousand Oaks -- he's the pharmacist in Dr. Cohen's old office building...and Dr. Cohen and I decided it will work better to have him do it. They sure make us sick people work to get chemo drugs...I mean do they really have a problem with people coming in and wanting them? Trust me, they're good for staying alive -- but not much fun:-) So back to Thousand Oaks tomorrow -- I am going to go first thing after I wake up, and then since that will probably take forever -- I'll come home and sleep after the outing. And I'll feel better knowing that the drugs are here for my Saturday shot. Cameron is still sick enough to stay home from school, but well enough to be my substitute teacher while I'm off on my outing.
So, good night for now. According to Dr. Cohen, I need to be OK with a few bumps in the road -- but I'm hoping for smoother sailing for now...
Much Love,
Michele
I saw Doctor Cohen today and he was a real pick-me-up:-) He agrees that the methotrexate is working, and I can take it for a very long time. And I don't have to do the chemo infusion of Rituxan that I was scheduled for this month. So happy day for me AND since the methotrexate in pill form is making me so pukey...I get to switch to a shot form. Thank God I have a sweet husband who has no problem shooting me up (with legal drugs of course), so I am golden. Never thought I'd be so happy to get a shot in my butt -- a real pain in the ass, for most people -- but not for me. And because it's a shot, it's supposed to bypass your stomach, which should be helpful. I also got more percocet and permission to stay on it forever if necessary. However, since it takes 6 months for the methotrexate to achieve its complete effects -- I'm hopefully going to continue to get better and be able to go down or maybe even completely get off it at some point.
So, the only glitch today was getting the RX filled for all the shots. I spent an hour at CVS, and ended up calling Dr. Cohen on his cell phone and having him talk to the pharmacist. Still too much confusion, because it's a larger dose than they're used to giving. So, tomorrow, I am going to see Rajiv in Thousand Oaks -- he's the pharmacist in Dr. Cohen's old office building...and Dr. Cohen and I decided it will work better to have him do it. They sure make us sick people work to get chemo drugs...I mean do they really have a problem with people coming in and wanting them? Trust me, they're good for staying alive -- but not much fun:-) So back to Thousand Oaks tomorrow -- I am going to go first thing after I wake up, and then since that will probably take forever -- I'll come home and sleep after the outing. And I'll feel better knowing that the drugs are here for my Saturday shot. Cameron is still sick enough to stay home from school, but well enough to be my substitute teacher while I'm off on my outing.
So, good night for now. According to Dr. Cohen, I need to be OK with a few bumps in the road -- but I'm hoping for smoother sailing for now...
Much Love,
Michele
"I'm not crazy..."
"I've just been in a very bad mood for the past 40 years."
Hi Friends!
Yes, I watched Steel Magnolias yesterday. I also watched Outsourced, Sister Act, Dead Man Walking, GI Jane and a bunch of other movies this weekend. I watched movie after movie while laying in bed. I was trying to take my mind off the internal war going on in my body. Saturday and Sunday were miserable -- I was so sick that I questioned my decision to do chemo at all. I was so sick that while my 14 year old daughter helped me take a bath, I questioned whether this time of my life was just a bad dream. Molly...She's the best nurse ever -- better than any "real" nurse I've ever had, but I'm her Mom and I worry. So I asked Molly if it's hard to have a sick Mom. And she honestly replied that it is, because she has a lot of responsibility -- but that she doesn't mind. And she told me that it's OK to not do the chemo. She doesn't know what she'd do if she were me...Sometimes I don't know what I'd do if I were me, and I am. I get it...
By the end of Sunday, it was better...not good, but better. I was able to move from my bed to the living room sofa. Bill made blueberry pancakes for dinner. I used to make dinner. I started the tradition of having breakfast for dinner of Sunday years ago back when I grocery shopped, cooked, cleaned and exercised... The pancakes were good...I kept them down, along with some rice, gatorade and popsicles. Now it's Hurray for me...I can eat:-)
By the end of the night, I was able to go to bed and snuggle up with SuperMan and actually sleep. Once again, SuperMan came and saved the day, catching Lois Lane as she was tumbling wildly toward the ground...
Today Bill went to work, and Molly went to school. Cam is still home sick with the same flu that I have. I wish that I could take care of him, not that a 17 year old "needs" taking care of...but it's a Mom thing, I guess. Nate and Isaac have routines and are able to learn and grow without me "supervising their learning" for today...I feel Ok today, but I am aware that if I push it -- I will start tumbling again. For today, I'll take it easy...call my friends, go see Dr. Cohen this afternoon.
A lot of people ask how I do it...I get it, I asked that about other people when they were sick. I do it, one step at a time, one moment at a time...I do it because it's the road I've been placed on. On good days, I do it with joy. On bad days, I do it while bitching. But what's important is that I do it...I've tried to quit on several occasions and God hasn't accepted my resignation. My family still needs me. And I still have more to learn.
So for now, I'm still on the sandy, beach road -- good, ocean-views and I'm not the driver, but thanks to all who are driving for me right now...
Much Love,
Michele
Hi Friends!
Yes, I watched Steel Magnolias yesterday. I also watched Outsourced, Sister Act, Dead Man Walking, GI Jane and a bunch of other movies this weekend. I watched movie after movie while laying in bed. I was trying to take my mind off the internal war going on in my body. Saturday and Sunday were miserable -- I was so sick that I questioned my decision to do chemo at all. I was so sick that while my 14 year old daughter helped me take a bath, I questioned whether this time of my life was just a bad dream. Molly...She's the best nurse ever -- better than any "real" nurse I've ever had, but I'm her Mom and I worry. So I asked Molly if it's hard to have a sick Mom. And she honestly replied that it is, because she has a lot of responsibility -- but that she doesn't mind. And she told me that it's OK to not do the chemo. She doesn't know what she'd do if she were me...Sometimes I don't know what I'd do if I were me, and I am. I get it...
By the end of Sunday, it was better...not good, but better. I was able to move from my bed to the living room sofa. Bill made blueberry pancakes for dinner. I used to make dinner. I started the tradition of having breakfast for dinner of Sunday years ago back when I grocery shopped, cooked, cleaned and exercised... The pancakes were good...I kept them down, along with some rice, gatorade and popsicles. Now it's Hurray for me...I can eat:-)
By the end of the night, I was able to go to bed and snuggle up with SuperMan and actually sleep. Once again, SuperMan came and saved the day, catching Lois Lane as she was tumbling wildly toward the ground...
Today Bill went to work, and Molly went to school. Cam is still home sick with the same flu that I have. I wish that I could take care of him, not that a 17 year old "needs" taking care of...but it's a Mom thing, I guess. Nate and Isaac have routines and are able to learn and grow without me "supervising their learning" for today...I feel Ok today, but I am aware that if I push it -- I will start tumbling again. For today, I'll take it easy...call my friends, go see Dr. Cohen this afternoon.
A lot of people ask how I do it...I get it, I asked that about other people when they were sick. I do it, one step at a time, one moment at a time...I do it because it's the road I've been placed on. On good days, I do it with joy. On bad days, I do it while bitching. But what's important is that I do it...I've tried to quit on several occasions and God hasn't accepted my resignation. My family still needs me. And I still have more to learn.
So for now, I'm still on the sandy, beach road -- good, ocean-views and I'm not the driver, but thanks to all who are driving for me right now...
Much Love,
Michele
Saturday, September 25, 2010
DECISIONS, DECISIONS...
Hi Friends,
Thanks for your continued love, support, and prayers. I like that I am allowed to make the decisions regarding my medical treatment -- it's my body, my quality of life, etc. But sometimes I don't like the choices. Today for example -- Saturday is my megadose of methotrexate (where I take 8 chemo pills at once), and usually I'm pretty sick for Saturday and Sunday -- then OK for the rest of the week. Well, today I had two choices. 1. Take the chemo pills on top of already having the flu. Better for the lupus, but could make me VERY pukey and possibly dehydrated and needing IV fluids. or 2. Skip the methotrexate for this week. Better for the flu recovery, but after 8 weeks we finally had the methotrexate to a therapeutic level. So, I'd be taking the chance that lupus crap would be back and it might takes weeks to get back to my current pre-flu health.
I thought for a while, and consulted SuperMan and Dear Doctor, who both said it was up to me to decide whether I could handle the treatment today. And I'm SO invested in this remission that I chose to take the pills. I hope it was the right choice long-term. Because short-term it has been a really sucky day spent mostly on the floor next to my toilet. I remember the first time I was hospitalized in the oncology ward at LosRobles, and all I could hear was the sounds of people wretching and crying. It was so sad. Now I can say I feel their pain. I'm spending so much time on my bathroom floor that I'm seriously considering moving a pillow and blanket in there:-(
Of course, I'd have to bring in the netbook, too. I've been watching NetFlix for most of the day -- so far, The Man Without A Face, Good Will Hunting, and Outsourced. I have to keep my mind off the sick feeling...
SuperMan is home and he cooked dinner, did all the weekly chores with the kids, and just now got groceries. He brought me GatorAde and popsicles for hydration, so I'm working on the hydration:-) I think I can, I think I can....
But for today, lupus sucks, chemo sucks, menopause at 39 (brought on by the chemo) sucks:-) IT ALL BITES...except SuperMan and the kids taking care of me. But Isaac and Cam are still pretty sick themselves...
Gonna call Bill for a popsicle...yum, dinner:-)
Love to all!
Michele
Thanks for your continued love, support, and prayers. I like that I am allowed to make the decisions regarding my medical treatment -- it's my body, my quality of life, etc. But sometimes I don't like the choices. Today for example -- Saturday is my megadose of methotrexate (where I take 8 chemo pills at once), and usually I'm pretty sick for Saturday and Sunday -- then OK for the rest of the week. Well, today I had two choices. 1. Take the chemo pills on top of already having the flu. Better for the lupus, but could make me VERY pukey and possibly dehydrated and needing IV fluids. or 2. Skip the methotrexate for this week. Better for the flu recovery, but after 8 weeks we finally had the methotrexate to a therapeutic level. So, I'd be taking the chance that lupus crap would be back and it might takes weeks to get back to my current pre-flu health.
I thought for a while, and consulted SuperMan and Dear Doctor, who both said it was up to me to decide whether I could handle the treatment today. And I'm SO invested in this remission that I chose to take the pills. I hope it was the right choice long-term. Because short-term it has been a really sucky day spent mostly on the floor next to my toilet. I remember the first time I was hospitalized in the oncology ward at LosRobles, and all I could hear was the sounds of people wretching and crying. It was so sad. Now I can say I feel their pain. I'm spending so much time on my bathroom floor that I'm seriously considering moving a pillow and blanket in there:-(
Of course, I'd have to bring in the netbook, too. I've been watching NetFlix for most of the day -- so far, The Man Without A Face, Good Will Hunting, and Outsourced. I have to keep my mind off the sick feeling...
SuperMan is home and he cooked dinner, did all the weekly chores with the kids, and just now got groceries. He brought me GatorAde and popsicles for hydration, so I'm working on the hydration:-) I think I can, I think I can....
But for today, lupus sucks, chemo sucks, menopause at 39 (brought on by the chemo) sucks:-) IT ALL BITES...except SuperMan and the kids taking care of me. But Isaac and Cam are still pretty sick themselves...
Gonna call Bill for a popsicle...yum, dinner:-)
Love to all!
Michele
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Best of Times, The Worst of Times OR For Every Action, there is an equal and opposite reactions OR i don't know..
Hi Friends!
Life is complicated and when I don't blog for a while, it's usually because I have mixed-up feelings and am struggling with them...SO today, I'm blogging anyway...I couldn't decide on a title or topic, so I'll just go with some random thoughts...
Life sucks, but "if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off." (Larry the Cable Guy)
I think I'm in remission. That makes me happy after 3 years of fighting for my life against my loopy disease. However, I'll probably be taking chemo drugs forever to sustain this remission and having no immune system is sometimes as hard as having an overactive immune system. I can have lupus kill me by attacking my organs one by one or I can kill my immune system with chemo drugs -- and catch every illness there ever was. Obviously, I choose to live -- BUT I don't like the no immune system thing 'cause right now I have the flu...And sometimes I wish I didn't have to choose between overactive or no immune system...sometimes I want to be normal, but then I remind myself that Normal is just a setting on my dryer...so who cares...but sometimes I do, you know what I mean?
Which brings me to: I love Channel Islands High School. Cameron and Molly go there. They're learning and growing and being highschoolers...But I hate the beginning of the school year when they bring home every illness they're exposed to.
In turn that brings me to -- I hate that me, Cam, and Isaac have the flu. I hate that Bill is not here. I hate that I had to keep Molly at home from school today, because I was unable to drive her. But I love that Bill and Nate are in D.C. bonding and seeing the sights and I love that Molly is taking care of the rest of us -- cooking and cleaning and loving us...she's an awesome young lady!
And I'm sure others feel this way -- but I hate children puking on the bathroom floor late at night (although at least he made it to the tile, and out of the carpeted bedroom)...and I hate deciding whether Molly (who is still healthy) or me (already sick, but with no immune system) should be the one to clean it up. But I love Clorox disinfecting wipes and the sanitary setting on my washer. They take what's dirty and disgusting and make it germ-free and white as snow...sort of reminds me of God.
I hate that my attempt to wean myself off Percocet failed, and I'll be taking it for however long I need it for the pain...BUT I'm glad it now completely takes the pain away and I don't take morphine or dilaudid injected into my sickly veins.
I hate looking at the big picture...I hate thinking ahead or worrying about what's next...but I thank God for the knowledge that I don't have to...my life is now, this moment, and I am glad that this illness showed me that I only need the grace necessary for each moment. I trust God to have the plan, but I'm human...and sometimes it seems too hard.
I hate people who think I should be positive all the time...and visualize the chemo eating up my lupus. I want to scream at them to shut up and listen! I have the disease killing my tissues, joints, organs -- one by one, you get to give advice when the toxins are hooked up to the central line which has been surgically implanted into the vein leading to your heart. If you haven't walked in my shoes, you don't know...
And on the other hand, I have my positive days...my good moments, I'm thankful for a cure...I'm thankful for the people in my life who just listen, and hold me, and love me as flawed as I am. And I recognize that everyone has something that they're going through...I thank the others who are brave enough to share their struggles and triumphs with me...it's just the JOYSUCKERS in life -- I have to find a happy medium between being patient with them and protecting myself.
I hate being viewed as an illness...thanks for being considerate, thanks for recognizing that I have limitations...but I was Michele long before this happened. While I'm fine with sharing who I am and never thought I needed to hide this illness -- please view me as a whole person who happens to be sick, not a sick person who need help.
I'm sad and happy at the same time that this happened to me...people who I thought loved me, fell away and others stepped up...complete strangers reached out to me and showed more caring than others I had known forever...please don't bother if I'm an obligation -- I don't need your "help."
I struggle with the brain damage that occurred when the lupus started eating away at my brain. Please don't tell me about the friend you have with lupus who has skin problems -- my lupus attacked my brain, my heart and almost killed me. At some point, it probably will kill me. I've seen the scans -- I know my own brain. It has it advantages -- you can tell me the same story over and over, I forget about big and small things that do and don't matter. However, I struggle with what I can and cannot do -- can I drive, do my own meds, teach my children? Please don't weigh in unless you are sure you know the whole story and most of you don't. I've had plenty of people tell me I'm fine to drive -- glad I look fine, and it would be more convenient -- but I'm the one (along with SuperMan and DDoctor) who has the whole picture.
I asked Bill for one word to describe me, because after all -- who knows me better than SuperMan. He said "content" and it's fitting...I'm content with my life, I'm happy and joyful generally regardless of the circumstances. And I have peace with God and am unafraid to die -- which by the way, is not the same as wanting to die right now. But I'm human, I'm bitchy sometimes, and I have my days. I'd appreciate no judgement -- but I know there will be plenty. I get it...if you really put yourself in my shoes, you'd have to admit you're invincible, too. Because one day, I was fine...and then I WAS NOT!
And these are the ramblings of a loopy mind with no narcotics on board...For now, I choose life, I choose joy, I choose love, I choose the rollercoaster, zoo-like life I lead. View this whole blog as a rant of a crazy mind if you wish -- but it helped to get it out there.
I'll end with saying that Isaac today noticed I'm not coughing anymore. Big achievement considering the lupus had hit my lungs, which wasn't pleasant. My 8 year old said, "You're getting better, Mom. Your life used to be a bumpy road, but now you're on a smooth road -- it's like a sandy, beach road now!" Well, I love that little guy and can't believe how insightful he is. So, here's looking forward to a smooth road, an ocean view for a while, and maybe a little less puking all around:-)
Much Love,
Michele
Life is complicated and when I don't blog for a while, it's usually because I have mixed-up feelings and am struggling with them...SO today, I'm blogging anyway...I couldn't decide on a title or topic, so I'll just go with some random thoughts...
Life sucks, but "if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off." (Larry the Cable Guy)
I think I'm in remission. That makes me happy after 3 years of fighting for my life against my loopy disease. However, I'll probably be taking chemo drugs forever to sustain this remission and having no immune system is sometimes as hard as having an overactive immune system. I can have lupus kill me by attacking my organs one by one or I can kill my immune system with chemo drugs -- and catch every illness there ever was. Obviously, I choose to live -- BUT I don't like the no immune system thing 'cause right now I have the flu...And sometimes I wish I didn't have to choose between overactive or no immune system...sometimes I want to be normal, but then I remind myself that Normal is just a setting on my dryer...so who cares...but sometimes I do, you know what I mean?
Which brings me to: I love Channel Islands High School. Cameron and Molly go there. They're learning and growing and being highschoolers...But I hate the beginning of the school year when they bring home every illness they're exposed to.
In turn that brings me to -- I hate that me, Cam, and Isaac have the flu. I hate that Bill is not here. I hate that I had to keep Molly at home from school today, because I was unable to drive her. But I love that Bill and Nate are in D.C. bonding and seeing the sights and I love that Molly is taking care of the rest of us -- cooking and cleaning and loving us...she's an awesome young lady!
And I'm sure others feel this way -- but I hate children puking on the bathroom floor late at night (although at least he made it to the tile, and out of the carpeted bedroom)...and I hate deciding whether Molly (who is still healthy) or me (already sick, but with no immune system) should be the one to clean it up. But I love Clorox disinfecting wipes and the sanitary setting on my washer. They take what's dirty and disgusting and make it germ-free and white as snow...sort of reminds me of God.
I hate that my attempt to wean myself off Percocet failed, and I'll be taking it for however long I need it for the pain...BUT I'm glad it now completely takes the pain away and I don't take morphine or dilaudid injected into my sickly veins.
I hate looking at the big picture...I hate thinking ahead or worrying about what's next...but I thank God for the knowledge that I don't have to...my life is now, this moment, and I am glad that this illness showed me that I only need the grace necessary for each moment. I trust God to have the plan, but I'm human...and sometimes it seems too hard.
I hate people who think I should be positive all the time...and visualize the chemo eating up my lupus. I want to scream at them to shut up and listen! I have the disease killing my tissues, joints, organs -- one by one, you get to give advice when the toxins are hooked up to the central line which has been surgically implanted into the vein leading to your heart. If you haven't walked in my shoes, you don't know...
And on the other hand, I have my positive days...my good moments, I'm thankful for a cure...I'm thankful for the people in my life who just listen, and hold me, and love me as flawed as I am. And I recognize that everyone has something that they're going through...I thank the others who are brave enough to share their struggles and triumphs with me...it's just the JOYSUCKERS in life -- I have to find a happy medium between being patient with them and protecting myself.
I hate being viewed as an illness...thanks for being considerate, thanks for recognizing that I have limitations...but I was Michele long before this happened. While I'm fine with sharing who I am and never thought I needed to hide this illness -- please view me as a whole person who happens to be sick, not a sick person who need help.
I'm sad and happy at the same time that this happened to me...people who I thought loved me, fell away and others stepped up...complete strangers reached out to me and showed more caring than others I had known forever...please don't bother if I'm an obligation -- I don't need your "help."
I struggle with the brain damage that occurred when the lupus started eating away at my brain. Please don't tell me about the friend you have with lupus who has skin problems -- my lupus attacked my brain, my heart and almost killed me. At some point, it probably will kill me. I've seen the scans -- I know my own brain. It has it advantages -- you can tell me the same story over and over, I forget about big and small things that do and don't matter. However, I struggle with what I can and cannot do -- can I drive, do my own meds, teach my children? Please don't weigh in unless you are sure you know the whole story and most of you don't. I've had plenty of people tell me I'm fine to drive -- glad I look fine, and it would be more convenient -- but I'm the one (along with SuperMan and DDoctor) who has the whole picture.
I asked Bill for one word to describe me, because after all -- who knows me better than SuperMan. He said "content" and it's fitting...I'm content with my life, I'm happy and joyful generally regardless of the circumstances. And I have peace with God and am unafraid to die -- which by the way, is not the same as wanting to die right now. But I'm human, I'm bitchy sometimes, and I have my days. I'd appreciate no judgement -- but I know there will be plenty. I get it...if you really put yourself in my shoes, you'd have to admit you're invincible, too. Because one day, I was fine...and then I WAS NOT!
And these are the ramblings of a loopy mind with no narcotics on board...For now, I choose life, I choose joy, I choose love, I choose the rollercoaster, zoo-like life I lead. View this whole blog as a rant of a crazy mind if you wish -- but it helped to get it out there.
I'll end with saying that Isaac today noticed I'm not coughing anymore. Big achievement considering the lupus had hit my lungs, which wasn't pleasant. My 8 year old said, "You're getting better, Mom. Your life used to be a bumpy road, but now you're on a smooth road -- it's like a sandy, beach road now!" Well, I love that little guy and can't believe how insightful he is. So, here's looking forward to a smooth road, an ocean view for a while, and maybe a little less puking all around:-)
Much Love,
Michele
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
MY ABC's
Hi Friends!
I haven't blogged for a while... so much to say and so little energy to recap all that I have done. Since I last blogged, I was blessed with a day at DisneyLand with Annie, Nate, and Isaac. It was a beautiful day filled with precious memories...and thanks to God and his angel (Annie), I was able to fulfill a promise made in 2009 to take all the kids to DisneyLand. We also spent a weekend out on the land and it was wonderful. Being out there in the vastness of nature and standing on the site where we will build our home -- well, it helps me to remember what the dream is and why we're making sacrifices to get there. I took tons of pictures and posted them on FB, so if you aren't following on FB -- I'd encourage you to do so. It's too time-consuming for me to post the photos here.
As far as my health...I'm slated for chemo in October...I have good days and bad. I hope the methotrexate (chemo pills) are working, but it's too soon to tell. I take it every Saturday and the side effects aren't very pleasant -- makes me sick to my stomach and depletes all my energy.
So, I focus on the good -- not the bad. I've recently gotten e-mails from several friends where they do the ABCs of themselves. This is mine... and I'm sharing it with you all. Don't take it too seriously. I went with my first impressions for each letter and did it quickly while the boys were playing at the park this afternoon. BTW -- the boys wrote poetry today, too. And I guess I was struck with the simplicity of doing my own ABCs for self-reflection at the beginning of the schoolyear.
Much Love,
Shel
-------
My ABCs
A westruck by the beauty of nature.
B oys -- I have 3 active, dirty, fun-loving, wonderful boys named Cameron (Cam), Nathaniel (Nate), and Isaac (usually Isaac, but sometimes, Zac).
C ats -- Itty Bitty Kitty (IBK) and Mr. Bojangles (BoBo) are my sweet and special kitty cats.
D og -- I have one dog named Bingo and he's a chocolate lab.
E arth is my temporary home...I treasure it and take care of it because God made it, but I believe that heaven is where I belong.
F unny -- Life is fun and funny. I laugh every day:-)
G irl -- I have one girly-girl, my daughter Molly who is lovely, kind, and musical.
H ero/husband -- My dear husband is Bill and we've been married almost 20 years. He's the SuperMan to my Lois Lane.
I ce Cream can make anything better, especially if it's chocolate.
J oy is a choice and can be found no matter what your circumstance:-)
K iss -- it never gets old to kiss SuperMan (review H for Husband/Hero) and my children are never too old for my kisses...shh!!! sometimes I have to kiss the older ones while they sleep:-)
L upus...need I say more...the gift that keeps on giving, and yes -- I am serious!
M om -- the 2nd best job I've ever had...(see W for the 1st)
N ormal is just a setting on your dryer!!!
O range is my favorite color.
P rincess -- Everyone should have one and mine is Molly.
Q ueen -- That's me and I'm blessed to have a family who treats me like one.
R ight is a word that people use too frequently and often for the WRONG reasons.
S hel is what those who love me call me.
T rees -- Love them and The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein, is my favorite book of all time.
U nique -- I take pleasure in my uniqueness...being complicated is a compliment!
V icariously -- I have mastered the art of living vicariously through others and their adventures. So, thanks to all my FB friends for taking me along where you go!
W ife -- The first best job I ever had.(See M for the 2nd)
eXceptional -- The life that my God has gifted me with.
Y o yo -- I feel like I'm a yo-yo with my health, but I focus on the ups, not the downs!
Z oo -- My house, My life ... It's a zoo. I want it that way. You may not get it, but it works for me
------
So, I dare you to do your ABC's...people are always sending random e-mails, why not send something that gives others insight into who you really are:-)
Love, Shel
I haven't blogged for a while... so much to say and so little energy to recap all that I have done. Since I last blogged, I was blessed with a day at DisneyLand with Annie, Nate, and Isaac. It was a beautiful day filled with precious memories...and thanks to God and his angel (Annie), I was able to fulfill a promise made in 2009 to take all the kids to DisneyLand. We also spent a weekend out on the land and it was wonderful. Being out there in the vastness of nature and standing on the site where we will build our home -- well, it helps me to remember what the dream is and why we're making sacrifices to get there. I took tons of pictures and posted them on FB, so if you aren't following on FB -- I'd encourage you to do so. It's too time-consuming for me to post the photos here.
As far as my health...I'm slated for chemo in October...I have good days and bad. I hope the methotrexate (chemo pills) are working, but it's too soon to tell. I take it every Saturday and the side effects aren't very pleasant -- makes me sick to my stomach and depletes all my energy.
So, I focus on the good -- not the bad. I've recently gotten e-mails from several friends where they do the ABCs of themselves. This is mine... and I'm sharing it with you all. Don't take it too seriously. I went with my first impressions for each letter and did it quickly while the boys were playing at the park this afternoon. BTW -- the boys wrote poetry today, too. And I guess I was struck with the simplicity of doing my own ABCs for self-reflection at the beginning of the schoolyear.
Much Love,
Shel
-------
My ABCs
A westruck by the beauty of nature.
B oys -- I have 3 active, dirty, fun-loving, wonderful boys named Cameron (Cam), Nathaniel (Nate), and Isaac (usually Isaac, but sometimes, Zac).
C ats -- Itty Bitty Kitty (IBK) and Mr. Bojangles (BoBo) are my sweet and special kitty cats.
D og -- I have one dog named Bingo and he's a chocolate lab.
E arth is my temporary home...I treasure it and take care of it because God made it, but I believe that heaven is where I belong.
F unny -- Life is fun and funny. I laugh every day:-)
G irl -- I have one girly-girl, my daughter Molly who is lovely, kind, and musical.
H ero/husband -- My dear husband is Bill and we've been married almost 20 years. He's the SuperMan to my Lois Lane.
I ce Cream can make anything better, especially if it's chocolate.
J oy is a choice and can be found no matter what your circumstance:-)
K iss -- it never gets old to kiss SuperMan (review H for Husband/Hero) and my children are never too old for my kisses...shh!!! sometimes I have to kiss the older ones while they sleep:-)
L upus...need I say more...the gift that keeps on giving, and yes -- I am serious!
M om -- the 2nd best job I've ever had...(see W for the 1st)
N ormal is just a setting on your dryer!!!
O range is my favorite color.
P rincess -- Everyone should have one and mine is Molly.
Q ueen -- That's me and I'm blessed to have a family who treats me like one.
R ight is a word that people use too frequently and often for the WRONG reasons.
S hel is what those who love me call me.
T rees -- Love them and The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein, is my favorite book of all time.
U nique -- I take pleasure in my uniqueness...being complicated is a compliment!
V icariously -- I have mastered the art of living vicariously through others and their adventures. So, thanks to all my FB friends for taking me along where you go!
W ife -- The first best job I ever had.(See M for the 2nd)
eXceptional -- The life that my God has gifted me with.
Y o yo -- I feel like I'm a yo-yo with my health, but I focus on the ups, not the downs!
Z oo -- My house, My life ... It's a zoo. I want it that way. You may not get it, but it works for me
------
So, I dare you to do your ABC's...people are always sending random e-mails, why not send something that gives others insight into who you really are:-)
Love, Shel
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