TOP 10 GREAT THINGS ABOUT HAVING LUPUS!!!

Hello Again!

I've been working for a while on some top ten lists. Some funny, some not! Lupus, like life, can be funny and also change your heart, body and mind all at the same time.

So, here's my first list. I'm calling it:

TOP 10 GREAT THINGS ABOUT HAVING LUPUS!!!
(or any other life-threatening disease, I'm guessing!)

1. Getting ready is so much faster when you have very little hair.
(I remember Julia saying to me and Judi when she went through chemo -- "Oh, you girls and
your hair!" Now I know what she meant. At this point -- I find appearance to be overrated.)

2. I realized I'm not immortal.
(Yes, I always knew I would die someday, but I took it for granted I'd be very old. When
you receive the blessing of knowing you're very ill -- that's when you really begin to live.)

3. There are no expectations of you.
(When you are very sick, people are just happy if you get up and out of bed in the morning.
No one expects you to grocery shop, make dinner, clean house, etc. Those things all seem to
take care of themself -- or not, because maybe they weren't that important anyway. And
on my good days, when I am up to things -- my family says,"It's so nice that you came to
dinner, Mom." or "I'm so happy you picked me up from school, Mom." These little moment
now are special to me as I no longer take them for granted.)

4. People tell you to sleep.
(In fact, the people who really care for me have encouraged me to take care of myself this
year, allowing myself to heal. At first that was hard for me to comprehend, but when I came
to terms with it -- I embraced it and declared this year the "Year of Me." I'm not trying to
sound rude or self-centered, but if I don't get better, which requires focus on myself, then I
won't be around at all for my family.)

5. People are like angels, bringing exactly what God thinks you need.
(Now, more than ever, I rely on God to meet my needs -- for food, shelter, clothing,
a friend when I'm lonely -- and he also reminds me of how loved I am -- through my
the right medical care, and family and sweet friends who are always bringing me trinkets
and Big Gulps, the ultimate key to my heart. Bill and I have learned to accept whatever
help is offered. My motto is "Say yes to anything that's free, and the blessings keep
coming your way!")

6. I love better.
(I don't know how else to say it. I think that I'm a better wife, mother, and friend. I now
value and nurture these relationships more rather than getting caught up in the busy-ness
of life.)

7. I have learned to be less judgemental.
(This has been a big lesson for me. I used to think I knew better than others at times, but
after some bad experiences with judgemental people during this illness -- I won't make that
mistake again. No one really can walk in someone else's shoes, so you don't really know how
you would react in their situation.)

8. You find out who your friends are.
(As the song says, right? People I thought would really be there for me are not, and other
people have been like angels, dropping everything for me. This is not a bad thing -- it's
taught me who my friends are, and it's also taught me to be a better friend and caregiver.)

9. You learn what's important and what's not.
(It seems so obvious, but we often get caught up in life. Examples -- Important: Friends,
family, God's work; Not important/Overrated: Material things, a clean and organized
house, etc.)

10. Prayer Works and God has my back!
(I have been transformed from a "do-er" to a "pray-er." I have never been prayed for or
prayed as much in my life as I did this year -- and both my family and I have been
blessed by the prayers. I have people all over the country praying for me. Also, I spent
many nights both at home and in the hospital unable to sleep due to pain. God has used the
pain to draw me closer to Him. It truly has been a journey, but he has prepared me and
guided me every step of the way. Sometimes I'm too stubborn to listen. But I can think of
3 specific examples of Him speaking to me this year.

1. The first day I went to my primary care doctor and failed the neurological exam --
I felt God tell me "It's going to be a long road, but you'll never be the same again." I
now realize He was preparing me to accept the year ahead.

2. After numerous MRI's and test, I found myself in yet another MRI machine pondering
my role in the universe. I asked God in my prayer,"How can I be a wife and mother
and be this sick? " That's how I defined myself, until at that moment he reminded me
that my most important role was child of God.

3. Finally, at the hospital and feeling really lonely -- Bill brought Nate and Isaac to
visit me. It was late and Isaac didn't want to leave. So, he climbed up into my hospital
bed with me, and I put my arm around him. He snuggled up to me and fell peacefully
asleep in my arms. I kept that vision with me to get me through the hard times, and
often when I felt discouraged or alone, I visualized our heavenly Father holding me
with the same love and tenderness I felt for my child. Because I am his child! )

Well, I hope I haven't scared you with my reflective lessons of 2008 today! I'll let you know when my next Top Ten List is done.

Much Love,
Michele