HELLO!!

Hi Friends,

This will be very short, but I didn't want anyone to worry as I haven't posted for a while. I ended up with 2 kidney infections in a row, then I caught the flu. I hadn't kept anything down since Saturday. So, yesterday my doctor sent me to the ER to get bloodwork/testing and most importantly IV fluids. I went to see him today. I have a little more energy after the fluids, but still a horrible backache (kidney area) and blood in my urine. So, best case scenario -- it's just the flu and an antibiotic-resistant UTI/kidney infection. Worse case scenarios -- the lupus could be coming back or I may have kidney damage due to the Cytoxan. Not looking forward to the cystosocopy of my bladder -- they put a camera in there. Already had it done once.

Also, not sure if I'll be doing chemo next week due to possible infections. So, keep on praying. My doctor upped my anti-depressant today as I find the whole situation a bit unbearable!

Much Love,
Michele

TOP 10 GREAT THINGS ABOUT HAVING LUPUS!!!

Hello Again!

I've been working for a while on some top ten lists. Some funny, some not! Lupus, like life, can be funny and also change your heart, body and mind all at the same time.

So, here's my first list. I'm calling it:

TOP 10 GREAT THINGS ABOUT HAVING LUPUS!!!
(or any other life-threatening disease, I'm guessing!)

1. Getting ready is so much faster when you have very little hair.
(I remember Julia saying to me and Judi when she went through chemo -- "Oh, you girls and
your hair!" Now I know what she meant. At this point -- I find appearance to be overrated.)

2. I realized I'm not immortal.
(Yes, I always knew I would die someday, but I took it for granted I'd be very old. When
you receive the blessing of knowing you're very ill -- that's when you really begin to live.)

3. There are no expectations of you.
(When you are very sick, people are just happy if you get up and out of bed in the morning.
No one expects you to grocery shop, make dinner, clean house, etc. Those things all seem to
take care of themself -- or not, because maybe they weren't that important anyway. And
on my good days, when I am up to things -- my family says,"It's so nice that you came to
dinner, Mom." or "I'm so happy you picked me up from school, Mom." These little moment
now are special to me as I no longer take them for granted.)

4. People tell you to sleep.
(In fact, the people who really care for me have encouraged me to take care of myself this
year, allowing myself to heal. At first that was hard for me to comprehend, but when I came
to terms with it -- I embraced it and declared this year the "Year of Me." I'm not trying to
sound rude or self-centered, but if I don't get better, which requires focus on myself, then I
won't be around at all for my family.)

5. People are like angels, bringing exactly what God thinks you need.
(Now, more than ever, I rely on God to meet my needs -- for food, shelter, clothing,
a friend when I'm lonely -- and he also reminds me of how loved I am -- through my
the right medical care, and family and sweet friends who are always bringing me trinkets
and Big Gulps, the ultimate key to my heart. Bill and I have learned to accept whatever
help is offered. My motto is "Say yes to anything that's free, and the blessings keep
coming your way!")

6. I love better.
(I don't know how else to say it. I think that I'm a better wife, mother, and friend. I now
value and nurture these relationships more rather than getting caught up in the busy-ness
of life.)

7. I have learned to be less judgemental.
(This has been a big lesson for me. I used to think I knew better than others at times, but
after some bad experiences with judgemental people during this illness -- I won't make that
mistake again. No one really can walk in someone else's shoes, so you don't really know how
you would react in their situation.)

8. You find out who your friends are.
(As the song says, right? People I thought would really be there for me are not, and other
people have been like angels, dropping everything for me. This is not a bad thing -- it's
taught me who my friends are, and it's also taught me to be a better friend and caregiver.)

9. You learn what's important and what's not.
(It seems so obvious, but we often get caught up in life. Examples -- Important: Friends,
family, God's work; Not important/Overrated: Material things, a clean and organized
house, etc.)

10. Prayer Works and God has my back!
(I have been transformed from a "do-er" to a "pray-er." I have never been prayed for or
prayed as much in my life as I did this year -- and both my family and I have been
blessed by the prayers. I have people all over the country praying for me. Also, I spent
many nights both at home and in the hospital unable to sleep due to pain. God has used the
pain to draw me closer to Him. It truly has been a journey, but he has prepared me and
guided me every step of the way. Sometimes I'm too stubborn to listen. But I can think of
3 specific examples of Him speaking to me this year.

1. The first day I went to my primary care doctor and failed the neurological exam --
I felt God tell me "It's going to be a long road, but you'll never be the same again." I
now realize He was preparing me to accept the year ahead.

2. After numerous MRI's and test, I found myself in yet another MRI machine pondering
my role in the universe. I asked God in my prayer,"How can I be a wife and mother
and be this sick? " That's how I defined myself, until at that moment he reminded me
that my most important role was child of God.

3. Finally, at the hospital and feeling really lonely -- Bill brought Nate and Isaac to
visit me. It was late and Isaac didn't want to leave. So, he climbed up into my hospital
bed with me, and I put my arm around him. He snuggled up to me and fell peacefully
asleep in my arms. I kept that vision with me to get me through the hard times, and
often when I felt discouraged or alone, I visualized our heavenly Father holding me
with the same love and tenderness I felt for my child. Because I am his child! )

Well, I hope I haven't scared you with my reflective lessons of 2008 today! I'll let you know when my next Top Ten List is done.

Much Love,
Michele

PEACE IS MINE IN 2009!!!

Hi Friends!

I hope that you will find joy and peace in 2009. This year is certainly looking up for me. I wouldn't necessarily trade anything that happened in 2008 or say it was too hard for me -- but what I would say is that it was a challenging year!

We had a quiet New Year's Eve at home with the kids. We were talking about having a party at our house that night, but things never panned out. I think it worked out better this way, and it was nice to just spend time together as a family. We watched GroundHog's Day, which the kids hadn't seen before. And Bill and I hadn't seen it since it first came out in the 1990's. We all found it very amusing. The movie was filmed in Woodstock, IL where Bill used to catch the train when we lived in Lake Geneva, WI (the first year after we got married). So, we had visited the set and it brought back memories to see it again.

Bill made dinner and spectacular ice cream sundaes and we had sparkling cider in "fancy" glasses at midnight. Thanks to Annie for the cider. It was a big hit!

I'm back to walking daily with Judi and I'm feeling quite good. It's nice to sleep in every day while the kids are on Christmas vacation. It will be hard when we all have to start getting up early again. After 5 days on antibiotics, my kidney infection is much better -- so here's hoping I make it a while before the next one hits. Bill's ear is feeling better, too. And Isaac's sprained wrist is much improved. He again wants to be very active and he is upset that we won't let him ride his bike with his cast on.

The kids are starting to get a bit stir-crazy since we've been home the last couple of days. So, tomorrow we're planning a hiking day trip and picnic to wear off their energy. Tonight they're distracted as 2 of the Malone kids from next door are spending the night. Molly has Heather (who's like a little sister to her) spending the night, and Nate and Isaac have Will spending the night. So, the girls are doing "girlie stuff" and the boys have built an elaborate tent city and are playing some type of war game. Cameron has nicely offered to sleep in Nate's room tonight so that Nate, Isaac, and Will can all sleep together in the room that Isaac and Cam share. Hopefully we'll make it through the night without any bunk bed injuries.

Bill is putting the finishing touches on our Bland Family 2008 DVDs. So, he's hoping to burn them and send them out soon.

Much Love,
Michele

ISAAC PLAYS SUPERMAN!!!

Hi Friends!

Sorry, I haven't blogged for a while. I've been busy nursing Isaac back to health. On Sunday night, he was playing in his bed -- the top bunk of bunk beds he shares with Cam. He ended up falling out of his bed, and he landed with both of his hands bent backwards at the wrist. One is sprained and one is broken. So, he's needing a lot of assistance with his daily activities. And Bill has a major ear infection. When he went in to the doctor yesterday, they gave him antibiotics and a dose of steroids. After his dose of steroids, he was up until 4 a.m. So, he now has a new understanding for what steroids are like. Besides that I have a kidney infection going, so we're really a sorry bunch!

Other than that, we haven't been up to much. On Sunday we went to see Despereaux at the movie theater, and then we ate dinner at McDonald's. Since all the injuries, we have been just hanging around home. I have managed to start walking again with Judi. And Bill has been in to work yesterday and today.

I'll try to write more tomorrow on New Year's Eve.

Much Love,

Michele

THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS!!!

Hi Friends!

I am reading a book called Hope, Faith, and Healing right now. I got it for Christmas from Santa and it's about how your outlook can help you fight disease. I want to share something I read in it today. It's come to be known as the Prayer of an Unknown Confederate Soldier.

I asked God for strength that I might achieve;

I was made weak that I might learn to obey.

I asked for health that I might do great things;

I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy;

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;

I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I had asked for,

but everything that I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered;

I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

Pretty powerful and holy words! They sure hit home for me.

Well, today after doing chores and getting ready, which took almost all morning for all 6 of us -- we decided to have a fun little family outing. We had a big lunch at Hometown Buffet here in Simi Valley. I definitely got my money's worth on Cameron alone. It's amazing how much that skinny boy can eat. But then, he's always growing and very active!

After eating our lunch, we drove over to Porter Ranch to go to Toys 'R Us. The kids had a bunch of Christmas and allowance money that they wanted to spend. It was pretty crazy shopping the day after Christmas. Thank goodness for my handicapped parking placard! Bill took the 2 little boys shopping, and I took Cameron and Molly shopping. I probably got the better deal, but then I am still sick.

Shopping went pretty well, and this is what they bought. Cameron bought all 6 Star Wars movies on DVD and a large dinosaur. Molly bought a Hannah Montana stage, 4 Hannah Montana character Barbie dolls, and a black lab stuffed dog named Jack. Nate bought a remote control tarantula and 2 PS2 games. Isaac bought night vision goggles and a Nerf gun. We also picked up 2 new movies --Meet the Robinsons and Narnia's Prince Caspian. And the boys got light saber-shaped styluses for their Game Boys. You have to love boys versus girls. The boys had all lost their numerous styluses, and Molly hadn't lost any of hers. So, she was nicely sharing, but the boys looked rather silly using pink ones.

After returning home, I took to my bed for a while. The trip, while fun, also exhausted me. The kids were all happy to play with their new things. And Cameron has started a Star Wars marathon. He is now on the 2nd movie, and Bill and the other kids have joined him and are eating popcorn. I figure I won't see Cameron for days with all these new movies in the house. But at least he has something different to watch. He still has the tendency (typical for autistic people) to watch the same movie over and over.

I am going to join my family for the movie now. I'll write more tomorrow.

Much Love,

Michele

CELEBRATING JESUS' BIRTH!

But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."

--Luke 2: 10-11

Hi Friends!

I hope you are all having a wonderful day as we celebrate the ultimate gift of Jesus Christ, our Savior! We are having a nice quiet family day at home --or at least, as quiet as it gets with four kids on Christmas.

Last night after church at 7 p.m., we put the younger kids (Nate and Isaac) to bed. Then the older kids got to play Santa's elves and put the presents under the tree. They had a great time especially after they discovered the "giggle balls" from Grandpa John and Grandma Linda. It's surprising they didn't wake the little ones up, but luckily for us -- they're hard sleepers!

This morning Molly (our early riser) woke up at 6 a.m. At least she decided to wait until 7 a.m. to wake the other kids up. But it was still rather early for us, and Isaac was a tad crabby. We opened gifts in a frenzied manner as kids do. Molly's favorite gift was a foozball table. There was a string leading the kids to it from the Christmas tree. It was funny, because it led all over the house before its ultimate end outside.

Cameron's favorite gifts were movies. Among others he got Kung Fu Panda, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and several Veggie Tales movies. And we all know how much Cameron likes to watch TV!

Nate and Isaac both say their best gifts were the cash they got from me and Bill. I guess you can't go wrong with cold, hard cash! They are already making big plans in regards to how to spend it!

Bill got a bunch of his childhood pictures from his Mom and Dad. That was his favorite gift!

My favorite gifts were also from Bill parents, most especially the beautiful beaded cross necklaces and a garden stone in the shape of a cross -- it has the Bible verse: "We walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:7 How true that is!

After the frenzied gift opening, Bill and I managed to take a 3 hour nap while the kids destroyed the house. Just kidding, but when I got up, it basically looked like Christmas had puked in our living room. I love kids -- really, I do!!! Although, Cameron being his usual organized and autistic self had already sorted and put away all his gifts and was busy watching movies.

Since we got up at noon, we have all been just hanging out playing around with the Christmas stuff. I basically just bought trinkets from the dollar store, but they've been a big hit! Bill, Nate, Isaac, and Molly had some spirited games of foozball! They even made me play. I'm horrible (mostly due to my nervous system problems and lack of hand-eye coordination), but it was fun!

We're getting ready to do our Christmas dinner. Terri has provided the ham. It looks lovely and colorful with pinaeapples and cherries on it. I'm making corn muffins, rice, potatoes, and peas to go with it. Bill also picked up a Boston cream pie for desserts. And of course -- we have some cookies left over from the batch we baked for Santa yesterday. So, we're not lacking for desserts!

Nate and Isaac are outside riding their new bikes (courtesy of our church deacons), and Cam and Molly are inside watching TV and hanging out. I think they're dragging a little bit after the early start this morning.

I hope that you are all having a wonderful day with your family! I am feeling very good -- I even have a new headache medicine that appears to be working. Slow down and enjoy what really matters. I'm hard-headed, so God had to give me a life-threatening illness in order to get me to do that. Hopefully, you're not as stubborn as me and you can learn vicariously through my experience!

I hope you enjoy the photos I'm posting today. They were taken Christmas Eve before we went to church. Thanks to Annie for the family Christmas socks. Unfortunately, Bill wasn't wearing his, which is why he is absent from that picture.

Much Love,

Michele

REFLECTIONS ON 2008!

Hi Friends!

Merry Christmas Eve! This is the video that Bill made of me for the year of 2008. When I first saw it, I cried. Bill did, too. It was just so dramatic to see how much the lupus, steroids, and chemo have changed my appearance. But as hard as this year has been, I wouldn't change it. As always, I have faith that God knows better than I do. This isn't the path I would have chosen for myself. I wouldn't have had the wisdom to do so. At times it seems too hard, but if you never climb the mountain -- you won't have your breath taken away by the beauty of the view on top of it. I've grown as a person, child of God, Mom, wife, and friend this year. I'll never be the same as I was before, and as the year ends -- I want to thank God for being more concerned about my character than my comfort. I also want to thank Him for all of you reading this. Without your love and consistent prayer support, I wouldn't have made it this far.

I just finished ordering our pizza from Pizza Hut. It'll be coming at 4 p.m. I love internet ordering. Shirlene just dropped off Brandon and the boys. Nate and Isaac spent the night there in Palmdale last night. Isaac came back minus one front tooth. And the other one is hanging by a thread! He looks pretty cute!

I did manage to finish wrapping presents last night after the boys left. Cameron and Bill had Boy Scouts last night. So, Molly and I had a quiet girl's night. After wrapping the presents, we watched a movie. Then I took my Ambien and went to bed. I told Molly she was in charge, and that she shouldn't let me leave the house.

Today we will go to church, the Christmas House, and the kids will Christmas shop for each other. I love you all!

Happy Holidays!

Michele