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Monday, April 20, 2009

GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!!!

Hi Friends!

I'm up early this morning. It was Cameron and Molly's first day back at school after Spring Break. So, we were up at 6:45, and it was difficult for everybody. I had a hard time going to sleep last night, but I'm resisting the urge to go back to sleep. I need to get back onto our normal schedule. Bill is off to the cardiologist. So, hopefully -- that will go well today. Nate and Isaac are still asleep even though they went to bed at 8:30 p.m. last night. I guess they're still recovering from vacation!

I was thinking last night about getting back to "life as usual" and found myself a bit stressed out about all there is to do. But it came to me -- God gives me EXACTLY enough time to accomplish what he has purposed for me each day. So, the question becomes -- if I don't have enough time to get everything done, whose work am I trying to do -- mine or His?

On that note -- I have a few pet projects that God has laid on my heart. I am hoping to organize a bone marrow drive this summer in memory of my friend Julia who died of leukemia almost 3 years ago. I am also going to be leading a new small group for our church this summer. It's called "Learning to Live with Chronic Illness," and it's based on a book by the same name by Lisa Copen. And my friend -- Carrie, the one I told you about who suffered a stroke -- She is going to be teaching us how to quilt. It's something she really misses doing. She can still sew, but cannot cut the materials anymore. So, we're going to work together as a group of women to do it while we bond and have fun!

And then of course, there's homeschooling to be done and all the usual household Mom and wife-type stuff. But I'll try to focus on what's truly important this week. So, I will sign off. Isaac just woke up, and I'm going to feed him breakfast. Then I will take a quick shower before Nate joins us and we start school.

More later ...

Much Love,
Michele

Sunday, April 19, 2009

SUNNY SUNDAY PICTURES ...





















Hi Friends!
These are some pictures I took of the kids just hanging out around home today. All in all, we had a fun day! And Bill and Cameron survived their long bike ride.

Much Love,
Michele

HATING HORMONES!!!

Hi Friends!

It's a sunny and hot Sunday in Simi Valley. Bill and Cameron are on a 15 mile bike ride with the Boy Scouts. Seeing as how the temerature outside is 97 degrees -- All I can say is better them than me! I told Bill between the exercise and sweating, he's sure to lose a lot of weight today! In fact, it's so hot today, that I had to let Nate and Isaac bring Gary (their new pet snail) inside. I was afraid he'd get cooked in his plastic container outside. So, now I have a snail on my kitchen island in an old cookie dough container. You've got to love little boys! I did warn everyone that the container holds a snail, not cookie dough! Otherwise it could be quite a surprise!

Now for the hormone vent. If you're a man and don't want to hear about "women's issues" -- stop reading here! My gynecologist ran blood tests which determined I was in perimenopause (the beginning of menopause). It was not a surprise because I had only had my period 2 times during the last year or so. And I was having hot flashes, mood swings, etc. The PMS was nasty and since I never knew when my period would show up -- it was hard to predict. So, the doctor put me on birth control pills. That in itself was amusing, because I am infertile, Bill's had a vasectomy, and now I am on birth control pills! But of course, the doctor (a man, did I mention?!) told me that it would control the menopausal symptoms and bring on a period (until I hit menopause, Menopause -- who knew perimenopause could last for years?). Well, Ok -- I'll give it a shot even though I'm thinking NO period is good -- not bad. It's not like I want more kids!

So, fast forward. I start the pills. I pay $35 per month for the package. I explain to my husband why I have to take birth control pills. I manage to remember to take them on a daily basis. And guess what -- they SUCK. I have been bleeding every day for the past 3 weeks. No big deal, my gyno says -- it's just break-through bleeding. Well, if I wanted to bleed every day for the rest of my life, I'd be crazy. I am currently washing my sheets for the 2nd time this week. Women, I know you can relate! And I've decided that after I finish this cycle of pills, I'm done with the hormones! I'll just go back to doing perimenopause and menopause the
old-fashioned and more graceful way! If I scream at my family too much, maybe I should just pay them the $35 a month in hush money!

I'm sure that the doctors will tell me there are other pills to try. But this sort of reminds me of my "sweaty pill" experience. You see, along with my lupus -- I have Sjogren's Syndrome. My immune system also attacks all moisture in my body. So, the doctors are always very concerned because of the dryness of my mouth, nose, etc. If you've never been thankful for your saliva, snot, etc. -- thank God for it now, because it is actually very important. So, in order to protect my eyes, nose and other parts -- I tried 2 moisture-producing pills -- AKA the "sweaty pills." You guessed it, the side effect of both pills -- profuse sweating, which I couldn't stand. So, I had to go against medical advice, and now I just use over-the-counter remedies for dryness in all areas! It was definitely a situation where the cure was worse than the problem. And I think the same is true with my current hormone therapy. Now, if you're in menopause and have been through this -- let me know what worked or didn't work for you. I truly wasn't planning to do menopause this soon (but life brings us all sorts of unanticipated changes, doesn't it?!) -- so I have done very little research on the big M. I've been keeping busy learning about lupus and chemo these days!

Well -- thanks for letting me vent! That's one reason I love to blog! I think I'll go get dressed. I am still in my pajamas. It would be pretty sad if Cam and Bill get home from their long bike ride and I'm still lounging around. But I only have 2 things on my to do list for the
day -- laundry and budgeting! If I get those two things done today, I'll be happy. And since it's Sunday it's family day, so I'm hoping to have some fun time together on the last official day of Spring Break. We have a tradition of having breakfast for dinner on Sunday nights. Tonight I think I'll make coffee cake and breakfast sausage. I'm getting hungry already!

Much Love,
Michele

Saturday, April 18, 2009

THINGS NOT TO SAY ...

Hi Friends!

I'm on a roll today... what can I say ... I'm entitling this ....

THING NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WITH LUPUS (OR ANY DISABLING, CHRONIC,
CONDITION ...)

--but you don't look sick. (That rosy glow is my butterfly lupus rash!)
--everybody gets tired. (but most people don't fall asleep at stoplights!)
--you're just having a bad day. (I wish!)
--it must be nice not having to go to work. (Yeah, it's a cakewalk!)
--I wish I had time to take a nap. (See #2, that's what happens if I don't)
--if you'd get out more. (Sometimes my to do list is : 1. Get out of bed; 2. Try to stay awake;
3. Go back to bed; 4. Try to sleep;5. Repeat.)
--you're just getting older. (Do most people attack their own organ as they get older?)
--if you'd get more exercise. (Good, but sometimes hard when every joint is swollen!)
--it can't be that bad. (If you only knew!)
--it's all in your head. (Literally, it's Central Nervous System Lupus -- that's my brain!)
--you're just depressed. (I wonder why!)
--there are people worse off than you. (Of course, but that's not helpful!)
--you'll just have to tough it out. (Thanks for the support!)
--you just need a more positive attitude. (And thanks for your help with that, too!)
--you should start/stop taking vitamins. (Yeah, because you're a medical expert!)
--your meds are making you sick. (Really, or my disabling chronic illness is more real than your
imaginary medical expertise!)
--how do you do it? (one day, one hour, one minute, one task at a time ... with God's grace!)
--why would God do this to you? (He didn't, but He helps me through this!)
--I know someone with lupus, and they're doing much better than you. (Thanks so much.
I am aware I'm a medical rarity!)
--you should try to strengthen your immune system. (Hello, my immune system is attacking
me. We are trying to kill it, not strengthen it!)
--this, too, shall pass. (Yes, and come back, and pass, and come back... they're called flares.)
--Are you cured yet? (Lupus is not curable, but manageable.)


Now, I'm putting this list together in jest kind of, because of all the funny things that people say to you when you're ill. Most of the time it's hilarious how opinionated people are about things they know nothing about. I attempt most days to be nice, and I like to educate people about lupus and especially my rare form of it. However, sometimes when I was doing chemo, and people said things like ... "They don't do chemo for lupus." or "You should put ice/rubber bands on your head so you won't lose your hair!" Well, then I did want to scream. Because I figured, when they hook up the poison antidote to your vein, you get to have an opinion. Until then, either be nice or be quiet.

So, if you can relate to this, that's cool! Or if it keeps you quiet in a situation like mine, oh well! Or maybe you need to print it out for your loud-mouth ___________________.


Much Love,
Michele

GIDEON: AN UNLIKELY HERO

Hi Friends!

We went to church tonight and I found myself sitting behind 2 of my friends and Bible study group members. We are 3 young women in our 30s-40s who have gone through a lot health-wise in the past year. My friend, Carrie, had a stroke which changed her physically. I relate to her a lot because she and I have similar brain issues. She has also dealt with breast cancer in the last year. My friend, Kelly, has also dealt with breast cancer this past year, a mastectomy and has had 7 surgeries so far. And then of course, there's me this year with my loopy brain and body and the chemo used to fight it. Anyway the three of us, and Bill (with his own health issues) talk and commiserate sometimes and discuss our "new normal." We know that God doesn't cause our illnesses -- but we live in a fallen world with broken bodies. Sometimes, however, in our humanity it's difficult to see the point of it all when you are suffering. We remind ourselves and each other of how God can even use the suffering to bless us, bring us closer to Him, and bless others through us.

So, anyway I was thinking about us all as I stood there singing in church. When I lift my hands to praise God, they shake -- not as bad as they used to, but my nervous system will likely never recover to its pre-lupus state. And when I listen to Pastor Jeff give his awesome sermons, I struggle to take notes fast enough -- because if I don't I will be left with no memory of what we discussed. That's another part of my brain lost. And sometimes, I think -- Oh God, how can you use me and this defective body to do anything for your kingdom. But today as I looked at Carrie with one side that is handicapped, and Kelly who is waiting to have her reconstructive surgery -- I was reminded of the story of Gideon. And I thought about how God specializes in using broken people to achieve mighty things in his kingdom. That way people see His glory rather than looking at the individuals chosen by Him!

Take the story of Gideon. If you're not familiar with it. I'll give you the summary. It's in Judges 6-7 if you want to delve deeper. The Israelites were living in the land of Canaan. Because it was such a beautiful land, other groups were always trying to take the land away from God's people. The Midianites had done this, and during Gideon's time -- God's people were slaves.

God wanted a leader for the Israelites, and he picked a shy man named Gideon. Even after God's angel talked to Gideon, he still did not believe he could do it. But when he was told to tear down the idols, Gideon did what he was told. However, he was still uncertain and he asked for several signs so that he would know that God was with him.

God obliged Gideon rather than chastising him for his questioning. And so Gideon put together a big army to fight the Midianites. But God told him the army was too big. God wanted to be sure that the people knew that God alone was responsible for the victory. So, he gave Gideon directions on how many men to send away. Gideon was left with only 300 men to fight the Midianites, but by following God's directions -- God's army chased the Midianites out of their country. God had kept his promise, and he let Gideon win the battle. But they gave glory to God -- THE ISRAELITES PRAISED GOD!!!

Now what does this have to do with me or my 2 sickly friends or you or anyone? Well, it gives me comfort. I realize with this story, God uses the weak, the shy, the unimportant, the unlikely. God doesn't get mad when we question his plan. God rewards our obedience to His plan, which He understands is hard when we "don't get it!" And finally, God delights in using the weak, the physically disabled, the "messed up," because then we know the truth. I cannot be responsible for this. Anything good in my life, anything that I do that blesses others -- is all God, not me!
I hope that brings you comfort too! I delight in an all-powerful God who rules over armies of angels, but still can use little old me to do his glorious plans!

Much Love...
Michele

A Saturday in the Life of the Blands ...












Hi Friends!
This is a day in the life of our family. Today is a Saturday, and I am proud of myself because I got my gardening project done. It may not look like a lot -- BUT, see pictures above. I had to pull out all of the old dead flowers, pour in a bag of new soil (very heavy), plant the new plants, and cover with the beautiful red bark. And then of course, clean up the huge mess I'd made. Molly, Nate, and Isaac all came out to help me -- some helped more than others. Bill was concerned about me being outside today as it's 90 degrees. So, I tried not to stay out too long. But I was impressed with my stamina. A year ago I couldn't even shower without getting exhausted. So, having the energy to plan, buy supplies, and carry out this type of project was a big deal for me. The only problem is -- now I'm itching to do 2 other larger flower beds in the front yard. I'm planning to plant roses and daisies. But, I have to control myself and divide the big projects into smaller, more doable sections.
I also included a picture of orange poppies that we picked at the park this week. They're my favorite color and always make me so happy. I have since found out that since they are the state flower, they are illegal to pick. So, I guess I've been getting away with my life of crime so far.
The snail is a new pet that Nate and Isaac found while we were gardening. They named him Gary after Sponge Bob's pet snail and rehomed him to a plastic container new habitat. I just hope he can survive all their love and care! Perhaps after a few days I can convince them to release him back into the wild.
So, everyone is up to something today as you can see by the pictures. Molly is swimming, and Cameron is eating. He is supposed to cut the grass today. It's his Saturday chore. But he's decided to do it tonight after church since it's so hot. Nate, Isaac, and Bill are still doing demo in our backyard in order to make a place for the hot tub. Isaac just came running in all excited, saying -- "We get to knock down a brick wall...really...Dad says it's OK!" They're having a great time, and I can't wait to see the finished project. I'm really looking forward to soaking in the hot tub while the kids swim in the pool this summer.
Other than that we are planning to go to church tonight at 5:30. That tends to work better than getting us all up and ready on Sunday mornings. It's honestly mostly me with the waking up problems! The only issue with Saturday church is that you all have to stop what you're doing in time to get ready and go to church. And we get home late -- so that makes for a late dinner. But tonight I have left-over nachos -- not the best for Bill, but the kids loved them yesterday.
Speaking of Bill, he received a call from his cardiologist yesterday. He didn't like some of his lab results, so he needs to come back on Monday for yet more testing. Hopefully, we'll get his health under control soon!
Much Love,
Michele

FRIDAY!!!

Hi Friends!

Well, it was our last official day of Spring Break today, so I had my last chance to sleep in. I slept until almost noon when Isaac informed me it was time to get up and make chocolate sundaes. We had bought the ingredients at Smart and Final last night -- vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, and whipped topping. And he was excited to make them! So, I got up and made the kids lunch (hot dogs) and the sundaes for dessert. Then we spent the afternoon working around the house -- specifically we tidied up the kids' rooms. I had let them go all week in the name of Spring Break fun, so it took most of the day just to find their floors -- especially in the boys' rooms. Not that we were moving that fast, but we got it done.

By the time we finished that, it was dinner time. I impressed my kids by serving nachos, which were apparently "as good as Del Taco's" -- definitely a compliment from my kids! At 7 p.m. tonight we had Bible Study at our house. We are doing a study on "Waking the Dead" by John Eldredge. The idea is of having the glory of a heart fully alive for Jesus. It's a great book and Bill is doing a great job leading the study. We were largely talking about spiritual warfare today, as well as healing your hurting heart and recognizing that God made it good. So, we had some interesting and enlightening discussion and prayer. I definitely recommend the book!

After everyone left at around 10 p.m., I vegged out and watched TV. Nate and Isaac joined me to snuggle on the sofa and fell asleep. I'm going to head off to bed as it's getting late. I bought some new flowers, dirt, and mulch to plant tomorrow in the front flower beds. I'm looking forward to doing that, and several of the kids are already volunteering to help me.

Much Love,
Michele